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It shouldn’t be this complicated.

by on May 1, 2013

But I made it that way.
On to the next task tackled on a tight rope in a typhoon (say that five times real fast!):


Mrs. Fever quote:

Next: “I don’t want to them to stop having sex to do other things because then she becomes more to him then a body to hop in bed with.”
The fact that you would ever consider your wife ~ on ANY level ~ to be just “a body to hop in bed with” makes NO SENSE. At best, it’s wildly contradictory. At worst, it’s objectification of a woman. And at the VERY worst, it’s the wildly contradictory objectification of THE WOMAN YOU LOVE.
Essentially, you are saying that you want her to be HER but only with you. In order for her to meet YOUR cuck fetish fantasy, you expect her to not only NOT be herself, but also to be “just a body”. Which is whore-ifying, to say the least.
/end quote


Head-Desk-THUNK is applicable. I don’t have a decent firm answer for this. It has been the biggest stumbling block to all the things Mrs. Fever asked me. I thought I would be able to come up with an answer if I sat down and put my mind to it. Everything I write reads like I am defending my own predetermined beliefs of what it would be like if she ever did follow through. I would hope I am past the stage of defending things that aren’t defendable. I don’t see my wife as just a body in the bed with me or with him and I don’t think of her as a whore, but I can’t disagree with the reasoning in what Mrs. Fever has said to me. I want to play the “it is because I am a guy and this is just how guys are” card but I know that will get me drop kicked hard into a world that has no kink. That’s a card play that will drive Serendipity over the edge. My befuddled answer here: I convinced myself if she did it on her own terms then it meant she was in control of the destiny and therefore definition of what she did. I can’t objectify or whore-ify the circumstances if the whole idea was hers.

Yes I know the question here and now is: “Just what freakin color is the fucking sky in your world? What shade of bullshit brown is duplicity in that damned ‘it’s not my fault she makes me do it’ whack-a-doddle kaleidoscopic fantasy rainbow up there in your kinked up brain?”

I know that’s the question here because I have heard her yell it at the top of her lungs. I remember when she yelled it at me because it made me laugh and that didn’t go over well, at all. It was an argument about how what I said and how what I did looked like two different things. It started over me telling her I didn’t want to be locked up while she was gone with him, unless the lock up was her idea. She replied neither the cucking or lock up were her idea, so how could locking me up before she left to spend time with the guy she took up with to cuck me, ever be her idea and that rant was followed by: “Just what freakin color is the fucking sky in your world? What shade of bullshit brown is duplicity in that damned ‘it’s not my fault she makes me do it’ whack-a-doddle kaleidoscopic fantasy up there in your kinked up brain?” I laughed when she said that. I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t laughing at her; I was laughing  at how damned absurd things could be when we argued over my kinks. It was obscenely absurd that as a married couple who rarely argues over things outside what my kink nature does to us, here we stood arguing about putting my penis in a piece of plastic with a lock on it, right before she left to go spend time with another men the same way she spends time with me. It is still obscenely surreal and absurd.

I sometimes feel like the butt of a bad joke, played on me by my own ego. I said I would feel more comfortable writing on this topic when she was home, she’s home, in fact right here beside me as I type this and it is not more comfortable. It’s not so much I am uncomfortable with the subject it is the fact I cannot find words to explain why I do what I do in my thought process when she is with him. I didn’t think I would need to find a way to deal with, struggle with being resentful or annoyed by the fact she was spending time with another man at my request. Just to muddle this more, she often teases me about adding another man to her “stable” and instead of seeing red flags and warning signs my mind goes to what it would be like to have her add another man to the arrangement we have now instead of what I know is fact because I live right in the middle of Factsville. I know the facts of what it means to be cucked on her terms and even knowing this the idea of her adding another man sends right to the trough of thinking about her and this man together and I don’t want to think of her with him beyond her having sex with him. But I know her if she ever adds another one, he will be part of all her life not just someone to crawl in bed with now and then.


I’m not sure I am making a lick of sense here and I am doing one fine job of rambling, so much so Serendipity is sitting here beside me chuckling and asking if I am STILL typing the post or did I swap back to work related typing. I’m not a drinking man, but right now, I need a drink.

  1. Hmmm…

    Maybe this is a layers thing. Like, concentric circles of kink. With your lizard brain wanting to stay in the middle of those circles, where they all overlap… Dipity, you, Eargasm guy, Guy #3 who has yet to be nicknamed being the circles that overlap… And the ‘you’ circle including your intrinsic kinky nature…

    If you stay in the middle, where all those circles overlap, you never really have to deal with the individual aspects (or participants) of the situation. You can stay in your jacked-up hormonal mouse brain state…?

    I could draw you a diagram, if you think it’d help.

    But if that makes sense to you, then I sort of get it.

    If that does NOT make sense…

    Just what freakin color is the fucking sky in your world? What shade of bullshit brown is duplicity in that damned ‘it’s not my fault she makes me do it’ whack-a-doddle kaleidoscopic fantasy rainbow up there in your kinked up brain?


    • *Blowing kisses Lady Feve’s direction*

      🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

      As I LMAO at the puzzled/amused {with head tipped sideways like the RCA victrola Dog} look on Monssieur Notasub face as he is processing the responses left today.


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