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Dancing with S.A.M.(s)

by on April 12, 2013

https://thesuburbandomme.com/2013/04/11/s-a-ms-they-ams/

Dancing to an adapted version of Tina Turner….
 *cue karaoke machine*

 OOOHHHHH—WHHOOOAAAAAA——
WHAT’S LABEL-
 GOT TO DO-
GOT TO DO—
WITH IT?

https://thesuburbandomme.com/2013/03/26/labels-are/
https://thesuburbandomme.com/2013/03/27/dont-eat-the-cat-food-check/

~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~
*Now channeling modified Clara Peller*

WHERE’S THE KINK?
~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~

IS BEING A ~S.A.M~ QUIRK OR KINK?
DOES THE MASO NEED TO CRAVE PAIN APPLIED TO THE BODY…TO REALLY BE A MASO?
DOES EMO MASO COUNT?
Another round of dissecting kink…….
A narrow scoped look at masochistic nature….narrow because I am using my guys and their predilection toward being S.A.M.s…and what exactly constitutes the “maso part” of the S.A.M. they can be.
The term S.A.M. isn’t exactly a favorable one in the BDSM lexicon. The first time I heard the acronym used….I was greener than green in the ways of BDSM and the lingo…….but…… as soon as someone told me what it was……BAM….it was my guys(only had two of them at the time).
S.A.M.’s are…….

Well……….. Smart Asses….

BDSM craving “bottoms” who are annoying will instigate and agitate others to get them to feed their maso appetite.
Now days…now that I know this….I often wonder when I encounter a man who seems to be trying to egg me into being rude or belligerent with him…is he a S.A.M. looking to use me to get his internal maso-beast fed?

Not ALL S.A.M.s are out of control…or total jackasses.

My guys……………..
They are endearing in their S.A.M.-ness….well two and three are.

The one who wasn’t…….the SAM husband…….. is now that I took the fangs out of his bite and out a stop to the S.A.M.’tude that gets into play when I am in “full blown Domme” mode….because in the process of thinking he was “helping me” that part of his S.A.M.-ishness…was thrashing my self-worth in the process of finding my footing as his “Domme”.

Being straightforward:

As a dominant, aggressive person with an animated….. sometimes (most times)overwhelming personality………. I need strong willed men, men who can own an Alpha backbone and swagger……and do so with an even, steady non-threatening keel.

Men who can stand beside me without being intimidated by me and have the guts to call a spade a spade…….even when I am calling it a shovel, demanding it is a shovel…… ..and be able to do so without attempting to dominant me into seeing it their way…doing it their way.

I am no harder on the people in my “innermost circle” then I am on myself….BUT…I am hard on myself.

I don’t always expect my guys to always agree with me.
I do expect them to disagree with me with purpose…not to just be an ass and difficult….if they pick a plot of ground to stand on…by damn…… they better own it and own it with logic.
These traits……… these things I demand from my guys… “the boys in my stable”………can be seen as “S.A.M” type traits and not all dominant women want men like this.

S.A.M. traits tend to be disruptive, obnoxious and maddening.

IF the S.A.M. doesn’t know how to temper and control the behavior…to know when to back the hell off…….and drop the S.A.M.-ish tude.
Everybody like a little ass…me…….. I also enjoy some moderated smart ass……within reason…..because I want to verbally spar with my boys…it’s a gotta have for me……..I NEED them to flex Alpha for me so when I entice them into handing me their power……

I have gained something—

I have captured their desire for me as the dominate.

I do not want them to roll over on their back and go passive.

~~~~~~***~~~~~~

 SO where’s the “maso” –kink or quirk—-factor in these guys?

Some clarification:
The suburban submissive isn’t so much a “submissive” as he is a kinky guy trying to get a grip on being a domination fetishist and change his ways to BE submissive.
See here:
https://thesuburbandomme.com/2013/03/12/hint-a-domination-fetishist-is-not-a-submissive/

Guy number two:

Cringes when I call him “kinky”…not in a disgusted way…but from the fact he knows —via Q and A sessions—- with me about what goes on with my husband…..what kinky looks like when applied to my husband fetish urges…and most all the things I do with my husband……at the very least sorta spook him…….at the very worst…….scare the bejesus out of him. He’s NOT “submissive” and he does not crave being dominated…he is attracted to aggressive women with sexy ear lobes.

The suburban submissive:
Full blow pain slut…..a maso to his core.
He’s learned to turn the “negative” S.A.M. commentary into something that issues a challenge to me to overpower him…and dominant him…in a way that uses his funny bone and his hotter than hell sexy blue “fuck me” eyes to get me in the mood to pounce on him….to have me digging out all the nifty c.b.t. toys I own and drive him into a frenzy.
He will deliberately set himself up…… to be physically/ verbally humiliated by me….in front of his “buds”.
I stand almost 5’3” at 130ish….…….he’s a little over six foot….at 230ish…and it drives him crazy to have “that stat” between us ……….amplified by me using some kind of “brute strength” on him in public.
He will do things/say things in a moderated,  smart assed, genuinely FUNNY way…that he knows could get his hair tugged, ear flicked by a long red talon….. or a solid punch to the chest…by me…in front of others.
The goof…he is particularly fond of this “punched in the chest” type of public humiliation…in the fact it brings on pussy whipped typed teasing:
“Did you see that? He got his assed whupped by a girl!”
“Damn….she just let him HAVE IT!”

“Wow…dude I’d hate to see how she kicks your ass when no one is looking!”

“That’s what he gets for trying to tame a red head!”
from his buds….and it carries over at work……..he is teased by the guys at work…and in a way…they help me “be the Domme” without knowing they are doing it! (Hey it’s all about work smarter…not harder!!)
He may not be real straight on the facts of what is or what isn’t …”being submissive”….but the one thing he has always been dead on about…is the fact he is ALL maso.

Guy#2…

https://thesuburbandomme.com/2013/03/16/what-is-kink/
Yep the earrgasming EMO S.A.M.
Allllll emotional smart assed maso.
He will make smart assed comments…that he knows…if I reply…..what I say is going to be emotionally painful.
He will say things he knows will humiliate him…..depending on how I reply.

He will challenge me…to challenge his masculinity….and he knows if I do……..he will be on the losing end.

His humor over all is self-deprecating sometimes to the point of being to self-disparaging.
The “maso” aspect in his nature…..maybe be more “quirk” then it is kink…but it is there and sometimes it is more agonizing to watch him self-inflict …then it is to be the one who actually inflicts the pain….emotional or physical.

Guy number three……wild card…..such a freakin wild card……and his maso tendency has to be in the fact he is a “T&D” junkie.
*SNORT*

Do the logic math on that… distinctly ~Maledom~ inclinations………..with an insistent craving for T&D.

Yeah me and my stable…

We blow the very little BDSM fixed foci, that might exist…

A*L*L

to hell.

From → Dissecting kink

One Comment
  1. “…he is attracted to aggressive women with sexy ear lobes.”

    Choke-snort-laughing. AGAIN. Gawd, eargasm guy cracks me up! 😀

    On a serious note: It doesn’t surprise me at all that maledom-who-plays-maso is into T&D. It is, after all, a form of self-control. His partner might get him wound up, but the test of control… It’s really a test of SELF-control. Especially when it’s all a mindfuck. Makes perfect sense to me.

    Like

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