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Three question in one post. (Part one— amplified)

by on February 22, 2014

(If you stumbled into this blog post as a search hit and still wanna stick around for a real version of the cuck life….you might wanna start here:




*Did he see this coming?

I keep looking at that one question and thinking:

Short answer:

No—-because he couldn’t (wouldn’t) see past the end of his dick and all the horny juice chemicals rushing thru his system anytime he started obsessing on this kink.

Long answer:

So many things about the way he perceived the “how” of this…… made me question his grasp on reality, at times….well all the time…when it came to how he really thought this would play out once the whole fantasy took on a real life form.  He elected to NOT see anything like this developing because it didn’t fit into the fantasy spectrum he had. In his mind all this would play out more along the lines of “hot wifery”. He would have a hand in picking the bull…and he would be involved in pretty much every step…and when HE was bored with the chosen bull….that bull would just go away and we (he)would go to work looking for the next one. The search itself……. in his fantasy…… was rather intricate and extravagant, in fact that was the larger part of the fantasy ——the actual sexual encounter—– was probably only 25% of the whole fantasy playing out.  And then the follow-up would be us re-experiencing the event in our own one-on-one sex life with him asking questions and me giving blow by blow exacting details of how and what turned me on.

THAT was how HIS fantasy version played out.

In the fantasy version……he blew off every single thing he knew about me as a person and as his wife.  He knew that my own ability to be aroused was directly connected to the emotional connect I had to the person I was aroused by.

He totally ignored what he knew about my own base sexual nature and hard wiring. Not a big deal if it is just for the enhancement of his own fantasies…..and human nature and for the most part as long as the one doing the fantasizing can keep THAT in perspective…no harm no foul. It became a problem because he lost touch with the reality of who I am when he tried to get this all translated into the very real reality he lives in with me.

In order to be aroused enough to have sex with any man………it meant they had everything I NEED to feel something beyond my crotch. I process my emotions in my brain…not my crotch……and I tend to be very calculating in the thought process.  Sex for me is part of being alive…it isn’t the reason I live. On my top ten things to be doing…sex comes in at about three or four….maybe even as low as 10…if stress is turning my world upside down. I don’t thrive on the need to be aroused. I don’t go looking for things to get me aroused…..I don’t need to be constantly aroused.

The core base of my nature

…..the way it is programmed……..

I am not programmed to look for ways to get or stay aroused.

It happens out of nowhere……and I find if I try to force myself to be aroused…it is a lost cause. If a man strikes my “yum chord”….then I start looking for other attributes that appeal to me beyond the sexual parts of the impending hook up More often than not…once the surface is scratched….I lose interest quick in whatever it was that started the “yum” horny thing rolling…because of this ~MY~ base nature…….

I’m never going to be any good at hook ups.


In order for my own “me so horny” hard wiring to work with me…not against me…..certain parameters have to be in place and those parameters ( thus the scratching the surface and losing interest)  are going to set up a possible connection to the person I am aroused by that will lead to more than just a sexual fling.

For this to happen…..

It meant the person who aroused me enough to follow thru on the biological urge,

That person I followed thru with…..

They shared the very same characteristics that attracted me to him.

So there was the

“hard to miss it….. unless you have your head up your ass”

potential for any  man I chose to bed……

to become an integral functioning day in and day out part of MY life

And in turn…..


He was well aware of all this as he pushed me in the direction of the “cucking lifestyle”. He can say he didn’t see it coming but to do that means he would be admitting he didn’t know the woman–his life partner– he was pushing that direction.

Considering it took me 28 years to follow thru and pull another man into out life………….well:

This is why I say he


—made an absolute cognizant choice—

to not see something like this coming.

I still look at that thought process and wonder just how far one can get one’s head up one’s ass without suffocating.

This is proof the head can be shoved pretty far up the ass and the brain inside the head can and will still function without fresh air.

Good gawd what a wall of words.

Maybe I should have stuck with the short answer.


I need to clarify something in this amplification and rather then just go back in an edit……here it is  with the edit…….because I want it to stand out:

And then the follow-up would be us HIM……re-experiencing the event in our own one-on-one sex life with him asking questions and me giving blow by blow exacting details of how and what turned me on.

From → Back Story

  1. Glad to read another who processes as intricately as I believe I do. I don’t know the beginning of your story very well. This post seems to sum it up though. I get the feeling that when fantasies drive you (him), it’s so easy to get high on the fumes and not see reality because you’re (he) too busy BEING high. 28 years and he didn’t know you wouldn’t react tells me he didn’t think past the end of his dick as you said in the short answer. Reading and partially living out fantasies, I think sexual “curiosities or unusual lifestyles” mixed with real life can be upheld by people who keep the fantasy alive while keeping reality (unplanned emotional outcomes) at bay or people who live the fantasy and have the discipline to drop it immediately as to not pollute with any more reality than possible. Otherwise, I do see- read about people who can work it through but to work it through, they have to be planted firmly in reality and their own self to be honest and vulnerable…which seems to strangle the fantasy but if you do get beyond that stage, another fantasy may appear and be easier to live. Your post was complex and deep and it relates to any relationship of any type. xo, Jayne


  2. His



    Three veeeeerrrry different concepts in terms of fantasy *and* reality.


  3. writingthebody permalink

    “hook-ups”…..gross, I agree. It is true that we men tend to think with our dicks….but I think he should be able to see these ramifications. I did not find it so hard at the time….he can learn. If he cannot her is not even submissive….not really.


  4. newtoFLR permalink

    Hmmmm. At the risk of another opinion, I actually from what I read do not think it is so absurd that he did hot realize what was going to happen or what would actually be required for it to happen. Fantasy that people claim they want as reality is a funny thing. Beside the obvious not thinking it through past the erection, comes the “I never thought she would really do it”. If you combine that with the concept of “poly” which while it makes perfect sense given the intimacy, was probably the last thing on his mind. I do not think it is lack of understanding your partner, stupidity, naivete perhaps. As I said in (pardon the run on) earlier post we are just starting to explore this and while my wife has gone on a few dates that have not led to much more than kissing. I also (criticism welcome) did not see/think of the potential of what you described happening until reading your blog. This has made me far less gungho and enthusiastic about this fantasy to the point where I no (almost) longer bring it up.


  5. Stan permalink

    Thank you for the opportunity to write, Your story is the besT, beST, bEST, BEST!! I have searched a very long time to find a blog, a tumblr, a story, or any writing that discussed the subject of dominance , submission, and its related activities with such clarity and reality. I am 64 years old. My life has been a struggle to find what you and your husband have found. So, so much of my life and my marriage were caught up in the “porn” definition of dominance/submission. My wife’s struggles and my struggles were so similar to yours and your husbands. Had there been an internet and writers like you 30 years ago, our life together would have been better, Time has run out for us. My dear wife died a year and a half ago. She would have enjoyed your thoughts, your writing, and your story as much as I do


  6. Stan permalink

    Left a comment here several days ago. It was awaiting moderation; now its gone. Did I do something wrong or offensive? If I did, I apologize. some clarification would be greatly appreciated.


  7. Stan permalink



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