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Save me..someone please save me, please fix my life!!

by on March 14, 2013

Once in a while a woman who is looking for prince charming stumbles into the same world I hang in with kinky folks.

She’s read some of the fluff type FemDom erotica and is sure there are “amazing wonderful submissive” men waiting in line to rush in and save her….to make her world perfect.

It’s hard for me to have any type of interaction with these women because I know I am going to end up not only popping the fantasy bubble……I am probably going to knock the wind out of them and then back over them a couple of times.

Of all the guys I know who profess to be submissive…only three or four really has a clue about being a submissive and they aren’t looking to rush in and save a damsel in distress. They are looking for women who can and will stand on their own two feet and have a logical, pragmatic view about life. They aren’t looking to fix someone fractured fairy tale.

It truly is sad. These women often fail to see the whole picture.

They assume if they offer up a little kink once in a while the guy will fall in line and be the perfect life mate, step parent to her kids and willing to support her financially to the point of being indulged.

*flexing hands…picking up bubble popping pin*

Adding to the “FemDom isn’t a magic bullet” bubble popping theme I do so well……

These women get a dose of the real world from women who live in this world.

The truth:

There are creeps who only want to get in your pants on this side of the world too. The kind who will say what you want to hear and make all kinds of pie in the sky promises to get you to do your best Domme gig for them……..then when the play is over they are nothing but asshole and elbow in a cloud of dust on down the road.

These guys in the BDSM world aren’t special and aren’t immune to being self serving horn dawg jerks.

Observation here:

Every woman I know who claims the title of Domme or Mistress knows the title doesn’t come without some hard work and isn’t always an easy row to hoe.

They know the FemDom erotica doesn’t tell the whole or the real story of what being a FemDom is about.

They know that having a submissive doesn’t mean you are set for life, that you will never have to lift a finger again or that your financial woes will just *POOF* magically disappear.

They also know most men yelling “Hey I’m a sub-pick me-pick me” aren’t looking to take on the responsibilities of playing “real world” house and being daddy.

I am indulged to the hilt… husband spoils me rotten……….but I EARN that right by being a good partner to him and not just in the kink way of life.

I am aware there are strings attached to having a good partner….I knew that long before he dropped the D/s concept on me. I knew if I wanted to be spoiled I had to be willing to spoil back. I knew that any relationship takes work…it is give and take and it isn’t always a 50/50 thing.

Here’s where I back over the ones that just had the bubble popped:

Every couple I know that has a real life FemDom D/s relationship that WORKS……..they all know FemDom won’t fix anything….it won’t save anyone and it isn’t a foundation to build on to set a solid foundation for a relationship that withstands rough times.

They use D/s FemDom to enhance the relationship, to take it to another level of intimacy with shared desires that benefit both partners. They use FemDom to augment an already fantastic solid connection.

Not one of the women I know who have a D/s partner…… be it submissive or slave…..set out looking for a man to “save them”.

They were looking for a partner they shared common interests with inside and outside the BDSM world. They knew from the outset that a relationship based solely on kink would never survive the long haul of being life mates. They knew their partner had to be a kinkster but they knew the partner needed more substance than just the ability to play kinky.

All the women I know who are lifestyle Dommes are strong in their own rights and would put off by a man who wanted to rush in and save them. They would never set out to look for a man to save them. The “white knight syndrome” annoys almost all the women I know–myself included.

And quite frankly…if I were sub……..I’d be very leery of a woman who looking for me to save her. There are all kinds of red flags all over that kind of situation.

Yeah I know that’s a popular theme for the FemDom  erotica stories…but really how many guys want to live that EVERY DAY?

I really doubt any man would and if he was willing…I’d put whole lot of my own money down on the fact…….. eventually…he’ll be nothing but asshole and elbow in a cloud of dust down the road.

(*eyes wide with mock shock*

Holy crap!!

 I am running out of sharp bubble popping pins.

Note to self…….

remind the wanna be sub I live with……..

who is also a right handy money pig—–

to log into Amazon and order two more gross of bubble popping pins………

I’m going thru them faster than I expected.)

From → Random Weirdness

  1. Katt permalink

    Similar advice can be used for male subs looking for someone to “fix” them and take care of all their issues. Especially when it comes to self-discipline. They want someone to make them lose weight, manage their finances, be a better person. They want to put that responsibility and hard work (and blame!) onto someone else.


  2. Welcome, Katt and hear, here!

    I have crossed far to many male partners who say “I’d be a better person if only she would *insert whatever kink floats your boat here*” and it always makes me wish I could reach out and slap the one on the other side of the monitor.


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