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There are days……..

by on February 16, 2013



I look at the vast array of, BDSM fetish/cos-play clothing, fetish toys, bondage paraphilia that I own and I am stunned.  I own things that at one point I thought only someone who lived in a world of being a porn star would own. Some things have been used once and never used again because it wasn’t something that worked for us.

My husband hates the terms “kink” and “fetish” because of the negative connotation that is applied to them by the public in general. He also feels it undervalues the feelings about the things he craves and it makes him feel like what he craves means there is something wrong with him. I have started trying to use the words “craves” and “desires” in the place of the words fetish and kink to help him progress in the long journey of being more comfortable with who he is.

I have never thought there was anything wrong with my man.

What was wrong was the way he went about trying to get me to play along and do for/things to him and do them his way.

In this section I will elaborate on his desires and the tools I use to be his Domme.

Honestly I never dreamed we’d get here.

I expected to be fighting over this part of his nature until one us dropped dead.

I have learned to adapt his desires to fit my personality, my own cravings and he has learned to accept what I have to offer and be grateful.

His cravings, his desires, the list is long and they circle around each other, one craving can have so many things that spiral out it is easy to get lost and forget where the original craving started.

Some require the use of toys and gear other are purely on a psychological level.

I only fetish dress, as in what one might think of when the think of a dominatrix in her full plumage, for scenes but the way I dress is influenced by his cravings.

My intent here isn’t to write wank fodder…it is to take the qualms out of the “D/s” lifestyle for women who are asked in.


Wank type questions/comments will not be approved.

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