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R.A.C.K. —-How Sadistically Ironic….

by on February 14, 2013

Risk Aware Consensual Kink…revisited.

How Sadistically Ironic….

That an acronym for informed, responsible play in the BDSM realm would be named after a torture device that my own pain slut of a husband wishes we had the room for in our own play room!

This was a term that at first shocked and terrified me.

What on God’s green earth

~could I do~

that would need such a foreboding stern “head’s up” to it?

A little farther into getting educated on BDSM and I started to understand the need for something more than the concept of “SSC” Safe Sane and Consensual.

Once I grasped the concept and the full weight behind R.A.C.K over S.S.C. I thought I’d never get to be the type of BDSM player that ever need the radical thought of “safer-less safe”—-my perception and vision of my own choices in the BDSM neighborhood would all be tame enough all I would need is to make sure my partners understood what I would be doing and consented to what I had in mind with no need to consider or be concerned about what I have in mind would be “less than safe.”

If it wasn’t “safer or safest” it would never be in play.

Fast forward fourish years and I find myself at times contemplating play with my husband that is way beyond anything I ever thought I would consider much less be capable of.  Granted these are not my own ideas for play they are his…but that doesn’t prevent from the occasional “what if” pondering as I plan scenes.

Now this is where I admit

I was mused into revisiting the RACK concept

by another blogger.

As stated in recent blog, I am not an I.T. Geek and am still sorting out how to do what with this blog.

Writingthebody blogged about Soter Mule and the horrific events of BDSM play gone horribly wrong and I would love to have a link here but don’t have the skills yet! So Writingthebody, if you find your way to this blog and would leave a link in the comments I would be very thankful!

The blog hit home in the sense I am rabid about personal responsibly/accountability in every part of our lives.

I take my responsibilities as my husband dominant seriously. Job one for me is to make sure whatever type of play I choose will DO NO HARM.

Same goes with my poly partners.

There is also the onus on my husband and my poly partners to use their big heads, not the little heads when they consent to any activity I might choose.

They not only have the right too— but should–SPEAK UP if something I suggest doesn’t feel right or safe for him. Not matter how anal I am about keeping him and my poly partners safe THEY still has to exercise personal responsibility.

In my dungeon part of my responsibility is to force them to exercise that accountability.

Will I ever need to use RACK over SSC?

I don’t know…so I will never say never.


  1. I remember when this happened back in 2011. My problem is the article mentions how they had all been drinking heavily before they played. RACK, SSC – whatever you practice – using any sort of drug, especially using more than one at once, impairing your judgement when it’s so desperately needed and then engaging in any type of a potentially risky situation is just plain stupid in my opinion, especially when one person is way less experienced than the other. Stories like that infuriate me because its why BDSM gets such a bad wrap. They don’t focus on making poor decisions while drinking and smoking pot, but that when they went into his home they found all sorts of devious sex toys, pictures, etc. GAH! Not only did this tragic event lack accountability and responsibility, it also lacked common sense. Drunk or not – as an experienced “player,” especially one that is well known in the community and is in a dominant role – rendering people helpless – it is 100% your responsibility to be sober and able to make good choices. All three lives were destroyed that night if you ask me.


  2. Additionally, I just went to the blog where WritingTheBody reblogged the article from and it’s an entire blog dedicated to male violence. BDSM isn’t about voilence at all. Ugh. This break my heart. 😦


  3. Rock rolling 101…….the rock will get heavier and harder to budge when necessary evils rear their heads.

    As a domestic violence volunteer, with almost 30 years of that type of volunteer work under my belt, I am palpably aware of the nightmarish hell of “male violence” and aware of the fact men don’t have a corner on that market—demented pathological psycho—NON BDSM sadist come in both genders and in all ages, shapes, sizes and colors.

    The necessary evil in this mixture is the fact the topic MUST be addressed on a non BDSM front before those of us who wish to make the thought-provoking, exacting distinction between our lifestyle and ourselves and the violence and the perpetrators of that violence.

    Addressing the topic in any manner helps lay the ground work and set the parameters to get the correct information about what we are NOT in the arena of BDSM.

    Personally I came to terms with the concept of BDSM is not about violence but sensuality and pleasure as I started to understand the nature of the people who have an interest in the life style and the community overall.

    But like any community there are the ones who will go about the practice with a less than a responsible sagacity of being a decent, pragmatic practical human and it falls on those who do live the life style in a safe sane, risk aware, all consenting adults to keep rolling that friggin’ rock up the hill.

    Take heart Cuckquean Slave…in the fact you aren’t rolling the rock alone, you may not see us, but there are many, both genders, all on different paths in the lifestyle, rolling the rock with you. 🙂


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