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by on February 12, 2013

This blog isn’t meant to change anyone’s mind.

I have no interest in arguing the semantics of what is “really” FemDom.

The blog is about offering a possible safe, sane, consensual and functional option for the many couples out there who struggle with the fact when it comes to their sexual natures they are on opposite ends of the kink spectrum.

It will always be geared toward F to m dominion. I will always address the topics as the “less kinky partner” because this style of kinky nature is not my own inborn nature but one I have come to enjoy and settle into as part of who we are as a couple.

It’s a candid non erotic look into the life of a couple who have built D/s into the marriage, not built a marriage around D/s.

Our marriage is a 24-7 D/s coupling but the 24-7 concept of D/s is a misnomer in our case. It is 24-7 in the sense that we live with each other and have incorporated many, many D/s styled low key BDSM interactions into the day to day relationship.

Our marriage has always been FLR, what changed is adding more fetish type play to our everyday life instead of just once in a while to temporarily mollify my husband’s constant and sometimes consuming fetish cravings and get him off humping my leg to get one massive dose of kink to quell his obnoxious behavior for a period of time.

I do not subscribe to the “Gynarchy– females are superior” approach to FemDom. I see my husband as my life partner first, as my submissive second. Two distinct entities that can intermingle but each part can stand alone depending on the events at hand.  I am his life partner first his Domme second and just like him, two distinct entities that can intermingle but each part can stand alone depending on the events at hand.

I am not looking for groupies who are looking for yet another on line FemDom to fuel their cravings for erotic literature and offer a go at on line domination. There won’t be much here for the cyber voyeur.

Will the blog ever contain erotic content?

I don’t know.

I do know if it does, it may strike some as sanitized and clinical. Most likely any erotic content will appear in the vein of addressing the issues couples deal with while trying to find a balance in the lifestyle.

To the ones who stumbled into this blog looking for answers on the “how to balance and make it work” feel free to leave suggestion for blogs.

I will not profess to have ANY answers but I can share how we as a couple managed to find a middle ground and work through the issues that come with being a “kink lop sided couple”.

From → Amplifications

  1. writingthebody permalink

    Hi again, I like this post a lot, even though you are thinking about different kinds of stuff as you go. My view on erotic content or whatever, why bother with that – there is enough of that out there. Perhaps, I guess, the thing to do is to analyse the things that are out there….from your point of view.

    For me, what I find interesting is that on the one hand you have the impulse to blog at all, and then on the other hand, that you are mildly irritated by aspects of your husband’s humping desires. I know (and this is no criticism of him, far from it) that as a man like him, I managed to wreck any chance of kink in the way you guys have managed to establish. Can I appeal to you, I guess, knowing how long my own journey to understanding of how oppressive my behaviour has been and can still be, my appeal is that you work with him patiently, and give him time….and part of it involves reminding him that you also need support, that the fantasy is not just a switch being pulled, and that you are a human being…but he will need time…I suspect!


  2. *chuckles*
    No criticisms detected and feel free to appeal away.

    You won’t be the first “kindred spirit” type man who has appealed to me to have mercy on my husband’s inner kink beast.

    Now days we do have a rhythm between us that helps maintain the balance and keeps the dry humping on my leg for a “kink fix” down to a minimum.

    Now days the irritation is handled with:

    “Damn it……sit stay and wait! I see you, I hear you but there are other things that need to be dealt with first. Your kink jones is not my priority it is my prerogative to use them when and how I wish. ”

    He has had to learn the proper mode of being submissive as opposed to be a fetishist with no self-control or patients when it comes to demanding a kink fix.

    Not my job to be patient with him….it is his job to be patient for me.

    (Type with a sly grin and wink of a woman who had to learn to implement the power he kept telling me I had.)


  3. writingthebody permalink

    I somehow followed and unfollowed (is that a word?) in one second – anyway, obviously I want to follow you (and in terms of such should have done so first, but thank you for following).

    You really are sweet, the way you explain things. He has to learn to be patient for you… are right. If he is a sub, once that has been pointed out, he really does need to learn that. Humping on your leg…yes we can be like dogs, I know. But this is very sweet all the same.


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