SO what about that other guy…

No..not that guy…the guy..the guy I am married to.

I talk a lot about him too…about his kinky nature and how crazy it can drive me…but I don’t say a lot about Monssieur Notasub.

Here’s how he got his nic….in the commentary….and again…..form the amazing dead -on- nail- it- with passing-out-nicknames…..Mrs. Fever.

https://thesuburbandomme.com/2013/03/24/yum/

We met and married in our late teens….

And we literally grew up together.

What attracted me to him the night I meet him was an easy slow smile and shy demeanor and a soft-spoken southern drawl that melted my panties.  The place I meet him was pretty much a meat market environment……. a bunch of hot horny teenagers trying to couple up and all the guys were trying to impress the women with their “game skills”. No…. not vid gamer nor I’zuh’player baby…….. type.

I mean pinball, foosball (yeah it was THAT long ago) and shooting eight ball. (Billiards! Not that other kind of eight ball!)

I spotted him as soon as I cleared the door…he was playing pinball and his hips…..the action in them..JUST DAMN!!! The boy had some serious groove in his pinball moves!!

He was the tallest guy there at a little over six ft and built like a brick house. Everything in my “biological egg dropping—looking for the prefect mate to make babies with” teenage female parts—-tripped breakers right there!

As if the WOW he hit me with as he played pinball wasn’t enough……a little later I watched him break and clear the pool table four straight times. As I watched him shoot pool….. one of his buddies started hitting on me..and I told him thanks but no thanks…..I was interested in the guy cleaning clocks with a pool cue. The guy snorted and said

“Oh, well I guess you should know he is married.”

(Eargasm guy pointed out……. when I told him this story……

“Classic cock block! Can’t blame a guy for trying!!)

I wanted to cry right there.

I had spent the whole evening watching him…..not really talking TO him…but flirting with him, watching him watch me flirt with other guys….…and me…..falling in lust with him……all for naught.

I moved away from the pool table and across the room from him because he was off limits. I wasn’t going to be the reason he cheated on a partner. I was caught in a conversation with a girlfriend when I looked up and saw him walking toward us. I started to step away but he got in my path and said

“I am not married.” 

I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. One of his friends who I had been talking to all evening spoke up and said he wasn’t…so I went for broke……took him home with me that night and kept him. We were married about six weeks later.

We still laugh….. well over 30 years later at all the people who said

 “HA..they won’t last six months!”

We joke….. we only stayed married……. so “those people” would have to eat crow.

(Insert snort and snicker *here*)

The guy who owns the kinks that make me crazy some days is much more than just the guy who owns the kinks that make me crazy.

He’s quiet. Shyness is a large part of that but he also lives by the motto:

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt

(I could seriously take lessons from the man on this one!)

He has a dry wit that can be biting…but he has such a way about him it might take a bit to catch the biting part. One of his crew workers once said:

“The thing about him is he can call you a son of a bitch in such a nice way…… it takes you a couple of days to know he insulted you!”

He’s attentive. More than one person mistook his quietness as not being aware and had it come back to bite them later because what they thought was him being unmindful…….. was him being observant.

He’s a “southpaw”…..but an ambidextrous baseball, football and basketball player, as well as golfer and bowler. Back in the day…….he was a wicked sparring boxer because of this ability.  Did I mention he is built like a brick house? He was a gym rat back then, taught me to be one and still is to this day.

He is an amazing sketch artist, but sadly he only applies this skill to his job. But it does have an upside for me because the technical drawings are often rendered solid with the precise eye of a skilled carpenter and if I can describe it and he can hand craft it for me.

He shares my “go faster bug” and loves to modify vehicles. Everything from what sits in the driveway to RC cars and planes and occasional lawn mower.

He has a single engine rating private pilot’s license and loves to scar the crap out of me midair. His passion is to someday own his own plan.

He is hard-core “southern rock band” guy. It is in his blood being a bred and born boy from way down south…but he tolerates my thing for hick twang thang country. He’s even grown quite fond of Hank Williams Sr. and will hum along to David Allen Coe, Jim Reeves and Meryl Haggard. The Bellamy Brothers are his “go to” when he gets to pick the hick tawng thang music. He has an amazing baritone voice that booms when he sings and it is quite funny and startling because he is so soft-spoken in his speaking voice.

We had nothing when we started out……..

Even then…..he was indulgent  to the point I had to call a halt to it because he would spend money on me that should be paying bills!  He is a “self-made man”. He started out as a blue collar guy but worked hard to climb a corporate ladder that is brutal and cut throat and climbed his way into a white collar world and a comfortable income that allowed me to do what I wanted: Be a stay at home wife and mom.

That climb was not easy……he didn’t “just get lucky” and skate right into the white collar world.

He worked any job that would support us as he refined and honed his skills to get up the ladder. The hours sucked and he often had to be away from home for weeks, even months at a time. He never complained about that, never uttered a negative word about how hard it was on him.

He just did it.

He did what he had to do to make sure we had everything we needed and also enough left over to indulge the wants of his wife and kids. He is a very unpretentious man…… but takes a lot of pride in the fact he has always been a good provider. He never told me I had to stay home and play “June to his Ward” but he knew it was what I wanted so he did his very best to give me my want.

We have had struggles over the years because the industry he works in is fickle. At times I have had to go out and be the bread winner and he has always stepped in the “Mr. Mom” shoes without batting an eye and not seeing it as a demotion in life. He has a tendency to be more “Disneyland Daddy” and that did cause issues sometimes because I got sick of always being the “bad cop/say no” parent….but we always managed to muddle thru and sort it out.

He would go out on a job and be gone for an extended period of time…and when he got back home…..it wasn’t easy for him to settle back into the routines he wasn’t familiar with…but he did his best to adapt and never grumbled about how he had to find a way to “fit back in”.

I found out in the last couple of years…he did sometimes feel like an outsider inside his own family. I got used to being in charge and just “handling” the home- stopped up sinks–car that won’t start–dryer died -life and the kids always headed for me when they needed something out of habit…….not because they didn’t want to go to him. When he admitted this…..I felt so stupid and heartless. I knew when he got home there was always an adjustment period….but he handled it so well…..never complained…..it never occurred to me he did have a difficult time.

He figured out from the get-go…..my learning disabilities can play hell on me and in turn the people around me. He never let that rattle him. He went to work right away finding ways to help me cope in a world that I don’t expect to adapt to me. It just seemed to come natural to him. He’s never made me feel stupid; he never loses patients with me.  He is my biggest cheerleader when I am struggling with something that confounds me.

I know at times he gets frustrated but he never shows it.

If on the rare occasion his frustration does get the best of him…. he says

“Babe let me rethink this for a bit”………which is his cue to let him have some space so he can figure out the best way to help me help myself. Long before the advent of Word and spellcheck……he was the hamster on that wheel….. for me.

When it was discovered our son struggled with the same issues….he had a way and patients with him….. I could never have. He gave our son the very things my own father had given me as a child when these damn things made me feel stupid. He gave him confidence to tackle anything and believe in himself and to not expect the world to adapt to him and be proud of the fact he can adapt to it even when it is working against him.

Ours girls scared the crap out of him as a daddy (insert heart felt loving laughter *here*)  but he has always been a good father albeit awkward…..at times. He was quite a good “behave when you date my daughter” enforcement without saying much. Did I mention he’s built like a brick house? Nothing like a tall drink of water in his cowboy duds, from a Stetson hat down to Dan Posts boots, dark aviator sun glasses, a toothpick clamped firmly in strong square jaw…. looking like he just walked off a highway patrol gig somewhere down south……. to make THAT point!

Our oldest daughter has struggled with some mental health issues and he held me up when I didn’t think I was going to make it to the finish line with her.

I could go on…….but if you don’t have a sense of who the man is now…… see a man who is more than kinky and a little to pushy at times to get that kink in play……..you probably never will….and that’s okay.

It’s all these things that make up the man who wrestles only one set of demons.

His only demons relate directly to his kink nature and what it can do to us as a couple.

But it is all these things that make me want to be here and help him wrangle and defeat those demons.  

I don’t need  him………I want to be with him.

And please don’t tell me how lucky I am to have him…yes I am blessed…but it took a lot of hard work from both of us to make this marriage stick…it wasn’t always easy and there were times we both wanted to give up.

It wasn’t luck that got us here. 😉