I’m rubber

You’re glue whatever you say to m…..
HUH?
Oh wait…you mean this isn’t grade school?
😉

Back to labels…

And the first thing I want to say is anyone who identifies as “vanilla”

ROCK ON.

How we define our sexuality is as personal as our bathroom habits.
But that label does get on my last nerve the way it gets used.
I worked with a guy who consistently said
“All heteros are vanilla”….

(Bet it won’t take more than one guess to guess what his sexual appetites were)

He was on a tear one night about how boring hetero sex had to be…how vanilla it had to be…….as I sat there listening to him…sitting in the lap of a man who wasn’t my husband…while my husband sat off to the side quietly watching me flagrantly flirt with the guy whose lap I was sitting in.

As a “boring hetero couple” we were playing a little game I invented to stroke the suburban submissive’s cuck fetish…….. back in the days before I had the guts or the desire to go “live” with the cuck thing…..long before I dragged the two others guys into our non-vanilla world……..it was a game called “pretend cucking.”

I’ll explain the game at another time…

I throw it down here………

to make the point that while he was telling me how “bland and vanilla” my sexual proclivities/life were….

I was being NOT vanilla right before his eyes.

I adored the guy who was on the rant…..he was like one of my kids…and I adored his partner…and this wasn’t a pissing match…….it was just Shawn on a tear….people used to joke he had to be my kid in some karmic way because he could get as “passionately frustrated” about how thick people can be as I can.

I’ve said in my previous soap box stomps on labels…….I do understand how they can have a negative impact on the ones who have them used in a negative way…I was born at night…but not  last night. I get it.

I could go all Miss Mary Sunshine on how if we could all just get along and “kumbaya circle” it life would be peace love and mung beans.

But…… let me cut to the chase….change starts with ME…if I’m not part of the solution I am the problem.
Words count…words have weight.

Don’t use words that are going to be a cross for the people you speak to bear.
If things are rocky between you and a partner over the sexual activity or inactivity in your relationship….. don’t go for the throat and proclaim how

“YOU/SHE/HE is to vanilla to get me/it/the kink I want.”

“YOU/SHE/HE with all that kink stuff, you don’t get me, the kink stuff is a problem …..so you are the problem in us.”

(Hint: The kink isn’t the problem and that’s another subject that’s on my near future ‘roundtoit list)

Don’t say things like this when speaking to others…….. that helps sets the precedent in your mind to NOT do it with your partner.
Being kinky is no cooler than being vanilla …being kinky doesn’t make one more enlightened or special or better at sex……being vanilla isn’t boring and it is just a much an inborn hard wired instinct as being kinky.

And make damn sure the one you call vanilla really is “kinkless”….and wants to be viewed as “vanilla”. They can claim the label……….it isn’t your job to label them.

I said it before and I am going to say it again:
Not being into the kink you are into…doesn’t make the other person “vanilla”

How’s bout we stop drawing lines in the sand that set up antagonistic circumstances?

And start the stopping it……with our partners.

I have more to say on this……… but the suburban submissive just pulled an Alpha maneuver that he knows kicks in my
“OH hell no…..it’s go time baby”
and kicked in my kink need for adjusting attitude….I’m about to get my Domme ON!