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by on March 23, 2013

Bossy, brassy, overconfident bitch ain’t I?

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

I have been pondering “What is kink?” for years.

In my own head, in my own writings……. some privately, some for my husband, some as a participant in other kink related confab type venues.

The word in relation to our sexual nature has such a negative spin.

Look it up.

Every definition will at least “hint” at the fact —–when used in connection with sexual nature—– the sexual nature in question is aberrant, somewhat out of the “norm” a deviation from acceptable polite social standards for carnal behaviors.

Some kinks are benign……..some are chancy and require a certain amount of risk taking…..and anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows  some are hazardous for the one who owns the kink and possibly to people around  or who play with……the one who owns the kink.

This category is strictly my take on this word and the variations of this word…..

that has such a profound effect on people.

Say the words:

“I’m kinky” or “Hey that’s kinda kinky“……. use the word kink or kinky in any way that relates to sexual urges……..out loud in a crowd….and the reactions will range from an uncomfortable snicker to “You to huh?” grin…or an outright “You are sick” revolted, repulsed glare.

A word…one word…can make or break a relationship;

turn a conversation from civil to heated, all dependent on how a person interprets the word.

There isn’t a static characterization for the word.

Some hear the word and immediately think of abominable things such as pedophilia, sex trafficking, rape, —-a long list of things—all the things that are abhorrent to people who proudly claim to be kinky and find the word “kink” to be a word that means expression of self through their sexual nature.

Anger, intolerance and hate are born from misunderstanding and fear;

the best way to squash that type of reaction to anything………

isn’t in the attempts to legislate morality.

It is in educating people in a manner they don’t feel threatened by the ones doing the enlightening and don’t feel they have to participate in what they are being educated about… be tolerant and understanding.

And it is also about having the stones to call what is transparently wrong…just that….


Knowing and saying ………even in the world of kink–in being kinky—– some things are black and white and we do know wrong when we see it.

And a heads up before I go any farther…..

I’m not very good at being PC.

I’m over 50, I am set in my ways….…deal with it or get the fuck off my cloud.

 Bossy, brassy, overconfident bitch ain’t I?

From → Dissecting kink

  1. I realize we *just* met, so don’t take this the wrong way… But I think I love you. 😀

    FINALLY somebody is going to delve into the brass tacks of kink.

    I hope you won’t mind if I quote you/refer to you from time to time during the scheduled upcoming discussions on my blog. In my quest to find a *mutually-agreed-upon* (between the contributing members of my bloggy audience) definition for the term ‘kink’, so far we’ve gotten as far as…

    Kink: gaining sexual enjoyment from something others do not understand


    • I’m sorta on the fly here…doing a sea gull kind of splatter posting for blogs…so I don’t lose the thought for the blog post……. and trying to keep up comments…..and being a bit to addlepated to get focused on the shifts needed to reply to blog comments……..I had to get this here NOW:

      Considering a comment you made to my blog on another post is what spurred me into getting this section set up instead of dilly dallying and kicking it around until it “felt just right”…’s only fitting for me to say

      BE MY GUEST.

      (And on that note…real life just kicked me….
      I so want one of the subbie styled dudes from the porn vids that stands in the corner and just WAITS patiently!!)


      • Life just KICKED you, you say?


        Where’s a bull whip when you need one, hunh?


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The Suburban Domme

The Suburban Domme Living with a (semi) submissive man

Miss Pearl

Non-professional perspective femdom & kink, with awesome erotica.

E.T. Enter Tangentially

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Temperature's Rising

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