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Alex…….I’ll take “Simply Complicated” for $1,000.00

by on March 23, 2013

 “A”:
A bend or twist in matter that can either direct the current of internal matter or prevent the free flow of matter as well as a term applied to human nature relative to the “ abnormal bent” of their sexual proclivities.

“Q”:
What is a kink?

Simply complicated is a term my grandmother used for things in life that —–on the surface—– looked like it should be fairly simple to deal with but as the dealings take place….. whatever is being dealt with……… becomes more intricate, problematic, convoluted, possibly byzantine.

My own take on “kink”:

Anything a person needs to become stimulated and will ultimately propel them to look for the “orgasm outlet”.

My “simply complicated kinky bent”:

(Simply)I have to see the prospect some type of emotional connection to my partner. (Complicated) If I can’t see myself letting my guard down enough to trust the person with my emotions…. I ain’t gettin’ neekid with’em.

(Simply)Being in control of my partner on a psychological level and being aggressive in the pursuit of my potential partner. (Complicated) If the person can’t handle some basic clever mischievous tinged banter that has me challenging their logic skills, humor and overall perception of women without turning into a misogynistic, chauvinistic cretin, they aren’t worth my time or effort and possibly a danger for /to me, when my sexual proclivities are activated.

(Simply) I am attracted to Alpha males. (Complicated) No obvious Alpha traits….…no attraction. (Even more complicated) I am exacting in what alpha traits float my boat. This is a “kink” that has the potential to put me in a dangerous spot if I can’t get a bead on the alpha’s own sexual bent as a sex partner. See above.

(Simply)Appearance, I’m not so much influenced by body form. (Complicated) I am very picky about eye color, smile and hair color. “Hollywood pretty men” in the vein of the Pitt, Cruise and Clooney do nothing for me, in fact that type annoys me to the point of aggravation.

 

(Simply) Hands….I always check a guy’s hands. Unless he is eye ball deep in a project that would cause it: dirty finger nails are a flat out— gag me— turn off. (Complicated) I want to see some character in his hands, scars and callouses that show he uses his hands either in his work or in his hobbies. I don’t want to be able to just see the character; I want to be able to feel it when his hands are on my skin.

(Simply) A sense of humor is an absolute must. (Complicated) The humor has to be witty, pithy, and edgy without being cruel, degrading, insulting and entirely sans bathroom humor.

(Simply) Some awareness of current events across the board (Complicated) and the ability to discuss topics with a modicum of understanding, with passion without getting belligerent or rude when disagreed with. If he can’t speak on the topic with bit of actual knowledgeable content and appears to be bullshitting his way through…I’m outta there.

This just scratches the surface of who I am in my “gotta have this” to even start considering a sexual encounter with a man.

My “gotta have list” once we make it past all this…
*self-deprecating snort*………………….It’s a wonder I managed to find one sexual partner much less two more.

Straight up simply complicated:

All my “kinky bents” start with me being the “top” …..me as the dominant.
All my F to m relationships….sexual or platonic are “flr” ……….and it wasthat simple.
It didn’t get complicated for me……until my husband dragged me into the world of FemDom and BDSM.

How simply complicated are you in your own “kinky nature”?

From → Dissecting kink

4 Comments
  1. Forearms. The ONLY strictly-physical trait that is an I-don’t-know-you-but-you-make-me-wet kind of turn on I have is men’s forearms. I am not a forearm fetishist… But I could be if given the opportunity. 😉

    I find it interesting that you grok to alpha males, but are the capital F in FLRs. F as dominant often equates to F as alpha. With the distinction having been previously made in one of your posts: There is a difference between *being submissive* and *wanting to be dominated*. So it makes me wonder if your marital relationship is more F/M than F/m.

    You said, in the beginning of your explanation: “Anything a person needs to become stimulated and will ultimately propel them to look for the “orgasm outlet”.”

    So if seeing a woman’s breasts makes a man hard (typical-traditional-vanilla stuff), and he therefore starts looking for the ‘orgasm outlet’, does that make breasts his kink? Or does ‘kink’ require a different type of energy/outlook/specified-focus? (The caramel swirls in his vanilla ice cream, so to speak.) Breast MILK, for example. Or pierced-only. Your thoughts?

    Like

    • Short answer:
      Both my _full on sex_ guys are
      “Alpha in the streets/beta between the sheets”.
      So either relationship….. at any time………can be F/M or F/m. The F is always the first and the cap.

      And the breast as kink….my view of kink…..yep.

      Looking at it from my perch……(i.e MHO)

      Kink is abstract and subjective.

      It starts and ends for all of us in places that others may never grasp…
      And more on that later……. cuz I really do have to go deal with the real world…instead sitting here having way to much fun in the cyber.

      (Gawd it is so much more fun over here!. I got a million ideas popping for blogins……just from this bit of back and forth……..that “I think I love you” thing…right back at’cha.

      Like

  2. Another thought to add here…..I don’t anyone who has just “a kink” the kink is plural.

    One thing I have noticed inside the “kinkster world” for lack of a better term for the groups I find myself brain storming and info swapping with now days….inside that world…there seems to be this Idea? Sentiment?…so many words I could pick….unless the sexual proclivity has some type of abhorrent hue to it…. by “nilla society standards” the sexual proclivity can’t be branded a kink.

    I say that as someone that more than likely would have never ended up having conversations with “people who kink” if it wasn’t for the fact I am married to a walking poster child for the kink loaded male and learning about the lifestyles then finding ways to incorporate the FemDom D/s lifestyle into my life……………… was a matter of keeping a relationship that matters A LOT to both of us……moving forward and growing…instead of stagnating and dying an ugly death of resentfulness and animosity.

    Like

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