Brave or Bravado? Either way, the shit’s only knee-deep if you go in head first.

Brave means …….you know what you are doing and can do it with confidence in your abilities….and without fear.

Bravado means you’re not so sure you are on the right track…but it feels right and you are going to do it anyway and hope you don’t fall on your face, whiz in the wrong bowl of Wheaties and you can fake it til you make it.

I’m not brave…..I running on bravado.

The grandma who taught me about simply complicated also taught me shit is only knee-deep if you go in head first.

Questions that I have been pondering for YEARS.

*Are kinks and a fetishes the same thing?

*Was I “kinky” before I meet my husband and started adapting to his elaborate fetish urges?

*Was I not “really kinky” until I fell head on down the rabbit hole in the BDSM aspect of kink when my husband found his “FemDom” umbrella?

*If you don’t use BDSM as part of your sex kit bag…are you really not kinky?

*Since my “gotta have that to be interested in sex” needs…… didn’t involve much more than being able to find an Alpha…with dark hair, a crooked smile, pithy non bathroom related humor and smoldering eyes with a few other quirky requirements thrown in…..that was willing to give up control to me as my partner in and out of bed………..as long as the relationship lasted…..does that make me not so much a real time kinkster with real time kinks?

*The fact he would concede his “Alpha” ways to me….does that mean he really isn’t an alpha?

*If my husband and I parted ways and I went back to a life without FemDom and BDSM kink….would I no longer be kinky?

*Since I don’t hang out at munches or play in public does that make not really kink?

I could build a list here that would crush the internet’s backbone under the weight.

The questions are semi rhetorical and the answer…hell right now what they are may not be the same tomorrow for me. I’m like a freakin lava lamp vacillating…up and down……depending on my mood and what the ambient temps are in all three of my relationships.

The topic is a slippery slope and can go from just some mild

“I don’t agree with you” chatter to outright hatemongering and venomous.

My husband and I can’t even agree on the topic.

We have always “agreed to disagree” on what is or isn’t “kink”.

He hates the word “kink” when used in relation to his urges…because of the negative associated with the word in the world at large.

He fears he will be judged “abnormal” and deemed not a worthy part of society because of that one damned word.

This is man who is intelligent, highly motivated and conscientious in his life at every turn. He survives and thrives in a business market that is cut throat and he does so because his ethics have built a rep that precedes him.

It is absolute insane that ONE flippin word could rattle all that.

Me:
The word is just a word…….but like so many words…in the wrong hands…..out of the wrong mouth…..or keyboard……..it is a double-edged serrated sword that will draw blood, shatter relationships and crush the person who had the word used against them.
I’m not looking to reinvent the wheel here.

I’m not looking for a “static characteristic” for kink and the ones who claim the word with pride.
I do hope…at some point the words stops being a double-edged serrated sword and just becomes another word for being happy in our own skin.
(Yeah*grimace and eye roll*……..
I know a little over the top there with the “Miss Mary ~can’t we all just get along”~Sunshine” sugar coat stuff…..but right now…….that’s the best I got.)