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More about not so blind mice.

by on March 14, 2013

Writtinthebody’s reply to my blog about the guys had me typing a reply that would have overloaded the reply section….


I’m giving that reply its own spot!

Being in a poly relationship is a lot of work….but when things are clicking along it is well worth the effort.

My husband has craved being cucked from as far back as he can remember….it wasn’t something that kicked in when we got together.

I knew from the start I would never be able to do the cuck thing the way he wanted.

“Three ways” have no appeal to me, forced bi isn’t my thing…and cream pies…nope…not ever.

It took me 28 years to get to a point that I was comfortable with the idea of having a sexual partner besides my husband and I did it on a lark… really was spur of the moment.

My husband was nowhere in the area when I decided to follow through with bedding another man. My husband has met the guy once……that was the night I met him. My husband was long gone by the time I grabbed the dude and took off with him. My husband had no idea what I was up to until I came dragging in well past day light the next morning.

He was frantic because he hadn’t expected me to stay out all night and as soon as I spilled WHY I had been out all night he went from being frantic to shocked. He didn’t think I would ever do it.

Once the shock wore off all he did for a couple of hours was looking at me with a stupid grin on his face and say “You really did this?”

It didn’t take me long to start laying down the law about how this guy would be part of our life. Amazingly enough my husband agreed to everything I said and the “cuckold” thing pretty much went Poly right there.

Logistic wise….that is a blessing and a curse. Guy number two lives in another state. Neither one of us can spur-of-the-moment make a phone call and hook up…….our time together has to be pre-arranged.

The blessing is in the fact we aren’t in each other’s face and space all the time…the curse is we aren’t in each other’s space and face all the time.

We spend a couple of days together –every few weeks or so—-away from both our homes and our “other life” we don’t mix in our lives at all. He’s single (divorced for years before I met him) and he has no interest in being in a committed relationship.

He has a life beyond what he has with me and that life is none of my business.

Same goes for me….my life away from him is none of his business.

Outside the fact we do share info about sexual encounters for health reasons…what happens when we aren’t together is just flat-out our own private business. It’s more about him informing me about his encounters because he and my husband are my only sexual partners.

He knows how my marriage works and he knows that because he needed to be informed, aware and consenting to what he is doing with me. He knew from the git-go I was married…the details of my marriage came out in bits and pieces over time….if I had it to do all over again…I would have been more forthcoming with the specifics sooner.

It takes work from both of us to keep things smooth. He’s not a kinkster and my lifestyle confounds and confuses him.

He does get jealous of my husband and when that happens it can get a bit wonky, but he is always free to walk away. He isn’t mine to keep and I have no desire to keep him for good and he knows the same goes for him. When the green-eyed monster rears its head…..we talk through it and the conversation always ends the same:

He is free to walk away, no strings attached

I will let go without a fight. He has a couple of times dropped off my radar for months but he has always found his way back to calling me…because he is more than just a roll in the hay for me and he knows that. He is a very dear friend. He knows when he just needs someone to lean on…just needs friendship…I am always here for him. We enjoy each other out of bed as much as we do in bed. We both agree as a “couple” we would NEVER work because we are set in our ways and to try to make us “long term-every day couple” would be a fool’s folly. He is also keenly aware of the fact NO ONE will ever replace my husband.

It is complex and we work to keep it from becoming complicated. 98% of the time we manage that.

Guy number three really is a wild card.

At this point in time he isn’t in the same area we are in so we don’t send much time together. He does come visit us and we go to see him…..we spend time together as a non-contact sexual threesome. In many ways this relationship feeds that cuck urge my husband has. He gets a rated PG visual that he can turn into a triple “X” in his fantasies.

Over all it’s an odd ball arrangement for anyone looking in from the outside…….and even ones who live in the lifestyle shake their heads at how things are.

None of us worry so much about what others think.

We aren’t “public” in our everyday lives about how our life works.

No one in our day-to-day world even knows about how our life works so there’s no risk of judgment.

My husband and I aren’t ashamed of what we do…..but we see no need to air this part of our life.

If it ever became public knowledge…the only thing that would concern either one of us would be the fall out for guy number two. Not being part of the kinky set…..outing him would be unfair to him.

He consents to what he and I are doing; he would NEVER consent to being outed in public about what he does with me.

That’s HIS RIGHT and my husband and I BOTH respect that.

My husband and I….we have been judged by some in the kinky set…..

but to the ones who judge us…….

I say:

~*~Glass houses and rocks don’t mix.~*~

From → Back Story

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