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Tunnel Vision

by on February 10, 2013

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man

if you get him off the thing he was educated in. 

*Will Rogers

And there’s my rationalization for owning up to the fact I have tunnel vision….just insert the feminized form of grammar and we are good to go.

I am not narrow-minded but I am narrow in scope when it comes to hashing the topic of kink. My education on the topic of kink is based on real time discussion with others who are kinky and a massive amount of reading the good, the bad and the ugly information out there on the topic of kink.

My blogs though, will always be geared toward the scope of FemDom being implemented in a long term committed relationship.

F to m, Female Lead relationships, Domme/submissive female domination in an everyday setting because this is a topic I know up close and personal, first hand and every which way but loose.

I don’t consider myself stupid when the topic shift to other forms of lifestyle kink, but they are topics better left to the ones who do know them first hand, least I become part of that fragmented ilk of the kink society I spoke of in my last blog.

Not in my wheelhouse?

I will observe but not touch the topic. If need be I will help find something or someone I have vetted and verified, who is well versed in the subject at hand to offer assistance.

Anyone who bumps around the net for just a few minutes searching for the topic of FemDom knows there are as many ways to “be” in the lifestyle as there are stars in the sky.

My way is my way…… it isn’t the only way………. nor is it the right way.

My way is to adjust the kinky nature of the man I own with positive reinforcement and the reward of kink play for good behavior, adapting his kinks to fit my own personality.

I do not adapt to him. I adapt his kinks to fit my nature and use them in a manner that benefits me and us as a couple. He has kinks that will never be part of the play list at our place because there is no way to adapt them to something I am comfortable with. It then becomes his job to make sure the lack certain kinks not being in the plethora of kinks that are in play don’t become a sticking point and get in the way of him appreciating the things he does have.

Too often we are all guilty of getting hung up on what we don’t have as opposed to focusing on the glorious amount of things we do have.

My husband and I are both fallible humans.

We have days that as a couple we are not in sync. Days that as parents our different parenting styles clash. Some days as business partners all hell breaks loose because we don’t have the same gut instincts for the current job circumstance. On these days I have to pick my battles and determine if I need to play the Domme card I own or let him be the alpha pissing he-man that he is when he isn’t here under my proverbial but loving dominant thumb.

If I choose to play the Domme card I have to be sure it isn’t in the line of abusing the power I have over him.

His trust in my ability to be a fair and just Domme is the most important brick in the foundation of our D/s relationship.

This “Domme style” tends to fly right in the face of what is touted as true FemDom. By some standards I shouldn’t give a whit about what he may or may not want.

As this blog evolves and more information is shared it will become quite evident my style of FemDom pretty much flies in the face of the S.O.P. of what is termed “FemDom” in the female domination realm dissemination.

I have my bones to pick with the line of thought that is propagated at times, but this is very much a personal lifestyle choice. What we choose to use and how it works for us is as personal and naturally self-orientated as our toilet habits.

My personal choice for me and mine when it comes to the lifestyle of FemDom:

We live by the steadfast rules of hard limits are hard limits and everyone has hard limits. The notion hyped by some that submissives have no hard limits is bogus, moronic and unsafe.

If the play isn’t SSC or RACK then it isn’t going to happen and above all DO NO HARM.

If a kink doesn’t appeal to me it won’t be a kink in play.

Whatever kinks he owns that I choose to play with will be dealt with in a manner that suits me.

I will turn his kinks on him for the betterment of his submissive nature and for us as a couple. I will not turn them on him to castigate or hurt him emotionally. If the kink can’t be used for positive reinforcement then it has no advantage to my style of being a Domme.

If I have to be a tyrant and bully him into being a good partner and a cooperative submissive I have no interest in adding this lifestyle to us as a couple.

I am a benevolent autocrat.

This is my style.

Using my style I have a long list of kinks to play with.

Humiliation, cucking, money/blackmail manipulation, pain play, bondage, mild forced femming, water sports, sph, anal play, tease and denial via a cb6000……just the tip of the kinky ice berg that makes up the man I live, love and play with.

Each of these kinks tentacles out to more and more kink aspects to play with.

My darling sub hub is a smart assed masochist and a pain slut that has a pain threshold that boggles my mind and pushes my own limits sometimes.

For years I didn’t understand this part of his sexual nature.

With the help of other “living it for real—in the real world” lifestyle FemDommes I have come appreciate and enjoy his urges and have acquired a very wide array of skills to manage his kinky nature to benefit both of us.

So yes…I do have tunnel vision.

I am narrow in scope as I plod and plot my way thru the words I type for these blogs.

I’m not putting words here to seek approval of others, for some sense of validation.

The only validation I need comes from the adoring look in my sub hub’s eyes because he knows I am comfortable with who he is in his own nature and I found my own path to get to a sweet spot that works for both of us.

The words put here are merely a demonstration of a lifestyle that has many paths.

This is simply documentation and possible mapping of another path for those seeking the FemDom lifestyle.

From → Amplifications

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