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What is “The Suburban Domme”?

by on February 12, 2012


A wife, a mother and all around Gal Friday who is standing behind you at the market.

The last thing I ever thought I would call myself is “Domme”.

After a few years of learning of the FemDom lifestyle with some help from some amazing women, I am venturing into the blogosphere to share my own story in hopes of helping others.

The topic of Female Domination and BDSM thrills some, terrify others.

I was stunned when my husband, after years of marriage and years of dealing with his kinky nature, told me he wanted to be my slave.

I’d been dealing with his fetishes for so many years, trying to just survive them and not let them tear apart our marriage the fact he asked us to bring Female Domination/BDSM into our marriage, full time really shouldn’t have come as a shock.

The typecasting and stereotypes that are so prevalent about the world of BDSM and women who are called “Dominatrix” was all I could think of as my husband started telling me what he wanted. As he started sharing his idea of what he wanted, I started to freak out a little bit. I knew that wasn’t me, it wasn’t us as a couple, even as kinky as we had been in the past.

I did with this fetish request what I have done will all his fetish urges, I set out to find a way to make it work for us as a couple.

This blog is the story a  D/s 24-7 couple, in suburbia, with a life that doesn’t look anything like the stories or movies that scared the hell out of me.

What we have found is a way to get his craving for BDSM worked into the very fabric of our relationship to the point now days, I am not scared of what he asked for and have found my own style of being his Domme 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

This blog won’t read like most when it comes to FemDom and D/s because we bucked the system.

This blog won’t be of any interest to anyone who is looking for the standard “I force fem my husband then whip him while he does the dishes” stuff that is often the core of what gets touted as 24-7 D/s and FemDom.

If you are a couple looking for ways to introduce BDSM-FemDom- into your relationship, from mild to wild, I hope you will find the blog interesting and educational.

From → Amplifications

  1. I also live and grew up in the suburbs. I commute into Manhattan to do my work as a dominatrix. I have heard of dungeons in suburbs every once an awhile, usually when they are getting raided, but I find I appreciate the buffer zone between my suburban life and my urban one.


  2. Well, of course. 24/7 you are not in sex play: that would be too exhausting. How to live a relationship, as the person in control, subtly? In play, the submissive is often in control: how does that dynamic arise with you?


  3. Thank you both for the comments.
    As I stated in my latest blog, work in progress….still shocked anyone found me so soon.
    Clare Flourish said:
    “In play, the submissive is often in control: how does that dynamic arise with you?”

    A topic that does need to be addressed and as soon as I can get some thoughts in order I’ll share what it looks like here in my world.


  4. Another question, then, for you to answer sometime if you wish: what do you do when you have had a hard day, and just want to be cuddled?


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