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Cranial Rectumitis

by on March 21, 2013

 Do YOU suffer from Cranial Rectumitis?

Either as the afflicted with this maddening ailment or worse someone who suffers the fate of living in a world where most of the people you encounter are infected with Cranial Rectumitis.

Fortunately for some of us…..a bit of self-induced tuff luv or a solid but loving smack to the back of the head by someone who loves us enough to want to see us healed will put the CR in remission

Unfortunately some people suffer from CR chronically and systemically……. and they do so unawares and no amount of tuff luv or loving smacks to the back of the head will help them, their CR is terminal and the ones around them will suffer  the fate of this much more than the one who is  chronic  and terminal.

What is this loathsome aliment you ask?

It’s street name is:

HEAD- UP- ASS  syndrome.

It’s been one of ~THOSE~ days …….

Seemed like my world was full of the oblivious CR inflicted.


*embarrassed eye roll and sigh here*

I started the day as one of them…until my husband lovingly smacked the back of my head via a phone call and some back up meds in the form of a quad shot latte and a half a pack of smokes…….I am in remission ( for the time being)

I am now on  a mission to induce remission in the unaware sufferers who inflict their suffering on the rest of the world.

I would like to offer a (not so kind or gentle) tuff luv head smack to:

The “kid” at Radio Shake…..who was more interested in telling me I had the wrong info instead of looking to see if I was right. (I was.)

To the two women in front of me in the check-out line, trashing out a co-worker for being over 50 and not acting her age by dating a guy who is 35. (Gawd where is this freakin rule book for women over 50 on how they aren’t supposed be this…or wear that…or do this…….or-or-or. I want the damn thing delivered to me on a silver platter .  I am going to burn the freakin thing on the beach in Key West….under a full moon as I dance around it in a skirt to short…shirt to snug ………in the arms of guy # 2…….. who is six years younger than me. )

To the jerk who pulled out in front of my ¾ ton pickup that was moving at the designated speed limit of 55 MPH…then STOPPED flip a “u” in the middle of the road. ( That dude is ssoooooo freakin lucky my brakes are after market industrial.)

Feel free to add your own head slaps to save humanity from the chronic sufferers who are inflicting it upon those of us who at least try to live most of our life in remission.

  1. You know I can not think of one that I had today….wow….. oh wait I was having my arms stripped today and the girl that was doing it is a heavier lady and she was putting all her weight into it. My feet were coming off the table and I was saying ouch, then she was like “it that too much” oh my feet are coming up and I’m saying ouch and you ask if that is to much….Duh ya,,,, did you miss the part about learn to watch the clients body language…


    • Sassy….that made me “cringe laugh”….not at you……. but with you.

      I have been going through some PT for an old back injury and one of the PT’s is—I think— a bit rougher than need be…and she’ll say
      “OH sorry….was that too much?”
      and I want to say
      “UMMM gee the fact I just grimaced, screeched and almost took paint off the ceiling wasn’t a big enough clue?”
      (Not so kind or gentle —-back of the head whacks—- for both these people!)


  2. The old saying “no pain, no gain” that is total bullshit…The thing with pain is that our bodies go into fight or flight response once the pain gets to be to much…Once our bodies are in fight or flight response all the work that is being done is futile….Trying to work against the fight or flight response is like trying to wall through a brick wall…I am always explaining this to my clients, I tell them they need to let me know, whether it is a noise or hand/leg movement anything to indicate that I am applying more pressure than they can handle comfortably. WE go by a scale of 1 to 10..1 being no pain and 10 meaning we need to go to the hospital…a 7 is the most you want to be at…anything over a 7 means your body is in fight or flight….This is a new concept and has only been really a part of the medical world for the last few years….the whole “no pain no gain’ is still what a lot of medical professions believe…I know for myself the fight or flight response is just like a brick wall, So I suspect alot of others are the same…..


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