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The suburban submissive(2)

by on February 19, 2013

My wife joked last night maybe I should be the primary blog owner here because this isn’t her “home neighborhood” she’s not a BDSM home owner, she’s a tenant who lives with someone who owns a home in the BDSM neighborhood. After getting to know some of the people who are true homeowners in the neighborhood of BDSM I think I am probably a squatter claiming rights of a home owner. I didn’t stop to read the Home Owners Associations bylaws,(there’s more than one might think, it is more about just showing up and saying “I want to play too!”). Things like respecting hard limits, knowing how to use a safe word, negotiating with your partner along with S.S.C. and R.A.C.K. or how individual and genuine things like owning and collaring are. Things about self-responsibility and being held responsible to and for the security on many levels besides just “playing safe” of ones you want to play with as a dominant or a submissive. And I surely didn’t read the print about what the difference is between being all about wanting someone to dominant me and being a submissive. I have touched just a few, only a very few, of the facts anyone who wants to live in this neighborhood should know before they move in, much less ask a partner to move in with them.

It may seem like an off the wall analogy but it isn’t, I was slow at grasping the fact she wasn’t in her own neighborhood when I dragged her into this part of the world I want to be part of. I had no idea what I was asking for when I asked my wife to be my Domme. It sounded cool and I liked the way the pictures of the models that lived in the homes made me feel.

My wife drove the point home a while back by asking me if I could just show up and perform surgery based on some pictures  and videos someone showed me or read a few books someone told me would tell me “how to”. No I couldn’t. For one thing the sight of needles and blood make me faint. Not just light-headed, they scare the hell out of me, make me sick to my stomach and then I crumble like a brick wall. Even if that wasn’t problematic, even though I have been in the hospital as a patient and as a visitor of a patient and observed the staff, I have no familiarity being in a hospital on the staff much less as the person in charge, besides watching medical dramas or the Discovery Channel’s medical network. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t think that counts when someone hands you a scalpel and begs you to use it on them. I’ve seen some attention-grabbing things and picked up some of the “lingo” but that doesn’t make me equipped to show up and play at being a proficient member of that community, no matter how much someone begs.

Another off the wall analogy? May be, but until you really understand the parallels in the point my wife was trying to drive home you probably shouldn’t be thinking about asking your partner to “Domme” you.

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