Three (not so blind) blind mice

In my wildest dreams I could not imagine myself with more than one intimate partner once I was married.

The first fetish that popped out of husband’s kinky soul was a cuck fetish. I didn’t know it had a name ay back then. I just knew it freaked me out and I wanted nothing to do with it and that’s another topic for another post, I only mention the cuck fetish here to establish WHY I ended up with two other partners.

Guy number one…is always going to be my husband.

Guy number two……

……………………………………came into my life a little over five years ago.

I knew I had my husband’s permission to bed other men….I’d just never met man who could hold my attention long enough to even consider the aggravation doing such a thing would add to my life.

I knew if I ever added another person to the relationship it wouldn’t be an easy thing to do and I just didn’t think I had it in me. But there he was, sexy as hell and one kiss that came out of nowhere and knocked my socks off had me hooked.

I grabbed him as a one night stand to prove to my husband that he needed to be careful what he wished for. After five hours with the guy, I knew I wanted more of him and not just the sex part. I had as much fun bullshitting with him as I did fucking him.

On the kink scale one being no kink 10 being über kinked he’s about a 3.5. His kink tastes are mild and he still has a hard time dealing with the fact he is fucking a married woman.

He’s often overwhelmed by the way my marriage works; my husband’s kinky nature baffles him. It takes a lot of emotional work to keep this relationship from going off the rails but it is well worth it.

He does have a few things in common with my husband when it comes to kink urges, he is attracted to dominant aggressive women; he prefers that I be the aggressive one when it comes to our sex life but he doesn’t want to be dominated EVER, in any way.

My dominant personality appeals to him in the sense that I can take care of myself, I am not clingy or needy and I don’t make any kind of demands from him to “take care of me.” He knows if he needs his space I won’t be bird dogging him.

Guy number three….

…………………………………….was supposed to be an “off limits” person.

He’s my husband’s best friend. One of the ~~~set in stone~~~ rules I have about other guys in our sex life:

I won’t shit where I eat…..keep the friends out of it because as it is the lifestyle is complicated, no need to complicate it more with someone who could blow up my everyday life with my husband and our kids…but……that rule went half out the window ones night after a few to many beers and we both let our mutual attraction get the best of us.

I disclosed the debacle to my husband immediately.

Much to my amazement he was okay with what had happened and we set about getting things in place….guidelines for all of us…so the relationship wouldn’t become a nightmare mess for all of us. The one thing that is set in stone : No sex……guy three and I never do more than petting but we spend a lot of time on the phone and writing to each other and this is as intimate as what I have with my husband and guy number two. It is proof sex is more about what goes on between our ears.

On the kinkster scale….he’s at solid 8 and his interest in BDSM is probably on the same level as my husband but his interest is in a Master/salve set up and there’s no way I am gonna go there and he knows that……so it becomes a cat and mouse game of one trying to dominate the other because neither one of us are switch type in our nature.

It’s all about mind games with him and we both know this and we both thrive on it and it feeds my husband voyeuristic nature because unlike guy number two where he is never around when I am with him…guy number three is a part of our life and my husband gets to watch us interact. I am affectionate with man number three in front of my husband, holding hands, kissing him, whispering in his ear saying and doing things to arouse him.

None of this is easy and I have days where I really wonder what the hell I was thinking when I got myself into all this. I have days where all three are demanding my attention and there just isn’t enough of me to go around.

I feel a strong sense of responsibility for the wellbeing of both the other men in my life…the same I feel for my husband.  My husband is always my number one priority but he knows for this to be part of our life he has to be willing to step back and let these two other men have their space and time with me. He does have moments he gets jealous and times when he feels like he isn’t getting what he needs so I am constantly juggling the emotions as I make sure he isn’t feeling neglected and at the same time making sure the other two know I haven’t forgotten about them.

Friends who know about this part of my life as me if I would ever consider adding another partner to the mix.

On quiet days like today I’ll say maybe…but one days like yesterday when I had all three tugging at me…

I’d say

OH HELL NO!!!!