Before and after
The last few days…I have been making a list of kinks that appeared before he dropped the FemDom notion on me and what popped out AFTER the fact.
I tell him all the time he wasn’t looking for a “FemDom” relationship when he decided we needed to add it to us as a couple…he saw FemDom as an umbrella clause for his kinky nature…because everything he craves goes right back to his domination fetish.
Pre popping open the FemDom kink umbrella:
Water sports (golden showers)
Short term slave “play”
And a whole slew of “kinky quirky things” that I didn’t have names for…but displayed in his actions and behaviors and how things aroused him…… that made a whole lot more sense once I started understanding his kink nature and that blasted domination fetish.
(Typed with an exaggerated humorous sigh and eye roll.)
23ish years into our marriage he found “FemDom” porn…at about year 27-8ish he dropped the idea of being his Fem Domme in my lap.
Once he got that umbrella open, had names to describe and pictures to show……
what he craved….
It RAINED kink for months!!!
Pain Play…the short list of what he craves……….in the form of cbt, sounding, trampling, cropping, whipping, flogging, wax play, electro play
capnolagnia (smoking fetishism…..being used as an ashtray)
Mild forced femming
Smothering by queening
Various types of anal play from prostate milking to strap on to wearing butt plugs for a set amount of time.
AND that’s the short-short-short list.
Every kink has a “mini chain” of kinks attached and they all circle right back to the domination fetish.
It was getting a good solid understanding of the domination fetish that helped me understand why he craved all the things he did.
Also, getting good info on what these things did to him….the way the worked on the chemical synapse in his body, the physiology….not the psychology…is where I started to really start making heads and tails of things that had in the past just had me chasing my tail.
All of these things in the porn…..the vids and the stories freaked me OUT! It was all over the top and out of my reach….or so I thought.
When he left me alone…let me pick and choose what I wanted to explore and didn’t push for more and learned to “live in the moment” with me…enjoy what I was adapting to and being patient until I was ready to move on to another kink……I discovered I could do a lot more than I thought I would ever be able to do.
He’s never gonna get everything on his wish list…
But now days he’ll be the first one to tell you some things are just fantasy fodder and should stay that way.